Avatar Hotel
by Kiwi Curry
Summary: So... what happens when the Avatar crew comes to stay at a hotel? And what happens when I'M the manager? Made out of boredom. DUH. Shipping: Zutara, Taang, more to come T for launguage... OZAI!
1. Roomies, Songs and Names

Sigh. As much as I'd like to, I don't own Avatar. If I did, Zutara would have happened like 2 seasons ago.

Aang: Hey! Shut it! I happen to like this season so far.

Well der. You have hair.

-----

Me: Hello, and welcome to my hotel. Can I help you?

Aang: Yeah, hi. Listen, we've got kinda a big group here and well… we need a place to stay.

Me: Okey-dokey, let me just – hey, what's that guy doing to my palm tree?

Ozai (has a fireball placed dangerously close to a palm tree): I saaaaaid, GIVE ME BACK MY COOKIES!!! I PAID FOR THOSE WITH ZUKO'S LIFE INSURANCE!

Aang: Um… don't mind him.

Katara (pops out of nowhere): Hi!

Me: Ri-i-i-ight… so how many of you are there?

Aang: Well, let's see… there's me, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Crazy -

Ozai: That's _Ozy _to you!

Aang: Yeah… - Zuko, Iroh, Azula, Mai and Ty Lee… so that's 10!

Me: Okay, let me see if I can squeeze you all in… (checks computer) Erm… we only have 5 rooms open right now, so you'll have to be in pairs.

Zuko (dragging in Ozai by the collar from burning the tree): What are we talking about?

Katara: Um… roomies.

Me: So, I guess I should start picking who goes in which room, right?

Aang: Wait, what? Shouldn't we get to choose?

Me: Usually.

Aang: …so…

Me: But this is my fan fic, so get over it.

Aang: Fine.

Me: So… how about –

Sokka: Oooh! What are we doing?

Katara: She's gonna pick our roomies!

Sokka (nods): Got it. Hey, can I _not _get stuck with Crazy over there?

Ozai: It's _OZY!!! _Not that hard to forget!!

Me: Look, I already have the pairs –

Ty Lee: Yay! Room buddies!

Mai: Pfft. Whatever.

Iroh: Just as long as I have easy access to tea…

Sokka: Oh, and can I get some oil to polish Boomie?

Me: No, you have to – wait, Boomie?

Katara: His boomerang.

Aang: Oh, and a room with a nice view would be great…

Azula: Perhaps a room to hold captives.

_All stop arguing to stare at Azula. _

Azula: What?

Me: Wait, wait, WAIT! Just CAN IT! (D E A T H G L A R E) Seeing as I won't be able to do it _this _way, how about we just use the good ol' internet?

All: What?

Me: Just type your name into this little box… (pulls up icon on computer) …and it'll match you up with someone!

Toph: Randomly?

Me: Com_pletely_ random! (enjoys the look on everyone's faces as I smile _reeeeeeeeealy _creepily.) So… who want to go first?

Ozai: Ooooh! Ooooh! I wanna go! Lemme go!

Me: Okay Crazy, type your name in there… seeing as you know how to…

Ozai: Er… okay… I can do this… (types in name after several moments) Yay! I did it! Hey and look what came up! So… Sooka… Sokki… Sokka…? Sokka! That's it! I got Sokka!

Sokka: (slaps forehead)

Me: Right-o, one pair down. Who's next?

Aang: Me!!

Me: 'k.

Aang (types in name and crosses fingers): _Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara, Katara… _

Me: Toph

Aang: Damn

Toph: _What was that?!_

Aang: I mean **great!** Yeah! Don't hurt me!

All: (watch in amusement as Aang begins to back away and Toph attacks)

Me: O-o-o-okay… who's turn is it?

_-Silence-_

Me: Katara. Go.

Katara: Fine. (types name in) Let's see… (name pops up) …ah no.

Ty Lee: Who'd ya' get?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: ... Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

**Yay Copy & Paste!**

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who?

Katara: …

Ty Lee: Who –

Mai: _Who the heck is it?!_

Katara: …Zuko...

Azula: Ha, sucker. All right, move it; it's my turn. (types name in) …ZOMFG, you have GOT to be kidding me. _IROH?!_

Ty Lee: Ooh, sorry about that 'Zula. But that means Mai and I are roomies! Squee!

Mai (glares at Zuko and Katara who are both currently looking quite sick): Joy.

Me (claps): Okay then, I'll take you to each of your rooms. They're all on different floors, so… yeah. Sorry about that little problem…

------

Me: Okay, so the first room we have is on the 5th floor. (steps out of elevator) This one is the biggest and the beds are spread apart the most.

Sokka: Mine!

Azula (steps up to him with lightning on the edge of her fingertip): You were saying?

Sokka: (gulp) Um… I mean, ladies first right?

Azula: Good boy. Come on Fatso, let's go. (pulls Iroh into room)

Me: Ahem… so next up is the 7th floor!

------

Me: This one has an entire wall made of glass, a great view.

Aang (grabs Toph and runs up): We'll take it!

Sokka: But… but… but pretty window and…

Aang: Want me to go all glowy on you?

Sokka: No…

Aang: Great! C'mon Toph, let's go!

Toph: Twinkle Toes, you're vibrating…

------

Me: Now on the 9th floor we a very nice room, meant to keep out fire. Sokka, I suggest you and Crazy take this one.

Ozai: Come ON people! Ozy is NOT really that hard a name to remember! Gosh! (drags Sokka into room)

Me: Onto the next floor!

------

Me: So… here's the 10th floor room. It has a nice rack for wine, golf clubs, knifes –

Mai (stops sulking long enough to look up): Did you say knifes? nod YES! I'll take it!

Ty Lee: Well, it's better than hiding them under my bed like _last _time –

------

Me: Zuko and Katara? Well, seeing as you guys are the last ones… um… on the 15th _and last_ floor, we kinda sorta only have… the… erm… _honeymoon suite, gotta go, bye! (_slams the elevator door shut behind me)

Zuko & Katara (stare at each other with their mouths open): … I hate her.

My head pops out of the elevator: Shut up and make Zutara happen.

------

1 Hour Later

Me: Um… sorry Aang, but I don't think that we can let Appa in here…

------

Zuko: What are you doing?

Katara: I'm just looking at the bed. I think it looks pretty nice.

Zuko: It's hot pink...

------

Iroh: You know Azula; you are a lot like Zuko.

Azula: Pssh. Whatever.

Iroh: Yes… I feel like we have a wall between us…

Azula: Well, DUH. What else is an earthbender good for?

Random Toph yell from upstairs: Dang it, I heard that!!

------

Aang: Hey Toph, how does _this _shirt look with these pants?

Toph: Aang, come here.

Aang comes up nervously: Yeah?

Toph socks him in the gut: I'm blind.

------

Ty Lee: OMG, Mai! You have GOT to wear this tonight! Don't you think yellow is your color?

Mai rolls over on her bed: Ugh…

------

Me: Hey Sokka, wanna get some extra money?

Sokka (his mouth open as he looked at me): What?

Me: C'mon: we're going to everyone's rooms to put in fresh towels.

Sokka: Oh, fun. I wanna see everyone anyway. So… Iroh and Azula first, I presume?

Me: Exactly.

------

Sokka: Um… what number were they? 10? 20? 40?

Me: 30

Sokka: Here it is! (breaks open door)

Azula: KIYA! (throws like a million pillows at him) Don't DO that!

Sokka: Hey, look an iPod! What were you just listening to…?

Azula: No! Don't look at that!

_You cut my wrists and blacked my eyes. So I can't fall asleep tonight because you killed me. You know you do, you killed me well, you like it too and I can tell, you never stop until my final breath is gone!_

Sokka: Wow… is severely creeped out right now…

Azula: Want that to happen to _you?! _

Sokka: Heck no! Here ya' go! (throws towels at her) Okay, let's go – wait, do you hear something?

Both see Iroh walking down the hall, headphones in his ears, and singing along to something.

_I see your face, I look in your eyes, what you feel is no surprise. Everyone needs something to believe in. Tell me your dreams and I'll tell you mine, in our hearts we'll look inside and see all the colors of a rainbow, I know… _

Iroh: _We all wanna believe in –_ hello.

Sokka and I: (STARE).

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Sta – START RUNNING

-------

Sokka: Okay, ignoring that Iroh just started singing, where are we going next?

Me: Um… that would be Aang and Toph's room. You wanna go in first again?

Sokka: Hmph. Fine. (opens the door a crack and sees Aang running around dodging Toph's boulders, singing)

Aang: _'Cause you're just a girl all the boys wanna dance with, and I'm just a boy who took too many chances, I'm sleeping on your folks for to get dreaming, she said, she said, she said, why don't you just drop dead? _

Toph: SHUT UP TWINKLE TOES! I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO MY MUSIC! Besides, that's not even how you sing. _This _is how you do it: heck yes, fear me and my pretty singing. (COUGH)

_Miss independent, miss self sufficient, miss keep your distance. Miss unafraid, miss out of my way, miss never let a man interfere. No, miss on her own, miss almost grown; miss never let a man help her off her phone. OOOOH..._

Once again, Sokka and I turned to stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Ooooh, not so many stares. HA!

Sokka: Wow… really random singing, yay…

Me: Gotta love it.

Sokka: Um… how 'bout I just leave these here? (put 'em down before backing up slowly)

Toph: Sokka you snip! I know you're out there!

Sokka: Crap. Run.

------

Me: Hey, wait a sec… if everyone's in the mood for singing, what do you think Crazy…?

Sokka: Um… (is amazing at the fact that Ozai came into the elevator at exactly the precise moment with his eyes closed and singing along with _some_thing… MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!)

Ozai: _Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! Hey there, hi there, ho there, you're as welcome as can be. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! Mickey Mouse! _Donald Duck! _Mickey Mouse…! _(walks out of elevator)

Me: …dang you have some weird characters on that show.

------

Me: Mai and Ty Lee? Goody.

Sokka: I'm just going in quietly. Get in, get out. Easy. …maybe.

Ty Lee: Oh Sokka! Hey listen to this song, 'k?

Sokka: Um… Ty Lee, I'm kinda busy right now, maybe later –

Ty Lee: Suck it up, I'm singing. AHEM. _It took too long, it took long, it took too long for you to call back. And normally I would just forget that except for the fact it was my birthday, my stupid birthday. I played along, I played along, I played along, well right off my back, but obviously my armor was cracked. _

Sokka: Um… that's very good Ty Lee… leave please?

Me: Ooh, but I wanna know what Mai's singing along with…

Sokka: But she doesn't even have an iPod!

Me: Oh. Too bad, now she does!

(Magical iPod pops out of nowhere and suddenly Mai's singing along with something.)

Mai: _Black bandana, sweet Louisiana, robbin' on a bank in the state of Indiana, she's a runner, rebel, and a stunner, found 'em everywhere sayin' baby what'cha gonna, lookin' down the barrel of a hot melon 45, just another way to survive. California, rest in peace… _HOLY CRAP, WHAT AM I SINGING? (sees us) ZOMG, KILL!!!

Me: Sokka! Drop the towels and run!

Sokka closes the door and joins me in running: GEEZ we run a lot.

Me: Shut up, you need it. Fatty.

------

Sokka: Yes, now it's time for Katara and the creep's room. Let's go and – (is blocked by the hand that suddenly shot out in front of him that happened to belong to me)

Me: You are not going in there to ruin a possible Zutara moment. I'm going in first. DON'T argue. I could lock you in a room with Mai.

Sokka: So...?

Kiwi: AND knifes.

Sokka: (not saying anything, very good for me.)

(Opens door to see Katara lying upside down on the bed, with Zuko on the cupboard)

Kiwi: Oooh... she's gonna sing! (grabs popcorn with extra butter)

Sokka: Hey I want some -

Kiwi: My popcorn. (growls)

Katara: _I woke up today, woke up wide awake at an empty bed staring at an empty room. I have myself to blame for the state I'm in today and now dying doesn't seem so cruel. _

Me: Yes! That's right Zuko! Love her singing… smile… yes! He smiled!!! (starts dancing like a git, spilling the popcorn)

Sokka: YES! (starts pecking popcorn like a chicken)

Kiwi: Oh I don't care. This is WAY too good to pass up.

Sokka: Wait a sec! Lemme see! C'mon!

Me: Mai and knifes.

Sokka: …

Zuko: Hmm… not bad.

Katara (flipped up so she was standing): Then why don't you sing a song?

Zuko: What? No way.

Katara: Aww, come on. I wanna hear you sing so that I can blackmail - I mean so I can totally ogle at your might! Yeah! Let's go with that!

Zuko: Okay then... _Do you like waffles? Yeah we like waffles! Do you like pancakes? Yeah we like pancakes! Do you like French toast? Yeah we like French toast! Do-do-do-do, can't wait to get a mouthful!_

Katara: ...dude...

Me & Sokka: (falls through door)

Katara: Sokka...? Manager Lady...? WHAT are you doing here?

Me: Dang it. Sokka was pushing on me to see who was singing and we… kinda fell through the door. Sorry 'bout that!

Katara: (got up and started to walk towards us with an air of menace around her, soooooo…)

Sokka & Me: RUUUUUN!!!

-----

Sokka: Okay, _never _doing that again. But I have one thing to ask about Katara and Zuko's room… (I nodded) _Why the heck were they in a HONEYMOON SUITE?!?!_

Me: What? (shrug) That was the only room left. I mean, if you and Crazy want to switch…

Sokka: Uhhhh... never mind...

------

Lunchtime

Aang: Ya' know what?

Me: What?

Aang: You need a cool name. I mean, it gets so boring just calling you "Hotel Lady." It has to be cool and all… anime… y… yeah…

Sokka: Ooh! How 'bout Cuddles?!

Everyone stops talking to stare.

Sokka: What? It's a good name…

Iroh: Maybe Jinseng…

Craz – I mean Ozai: What about Ozy?

Toph: Isn't that you're name?

Ozai: AHA! See?! I got you to say my name!!

Toph: But I never said it.

Ozai: … I HATE YOU!!! (runs off to cry like that good ol' Crazy I know)

Katara: Kandy?

Zuko: Kiwi?

Ty Lee: Giddy?

Zuko: Kiwi?

Mai: Knife?

Zuko: Kiwi?

Azula: Red Hot Chillie Pepper?

Zuko: Kiwi?

Me: Um… none of these are anime… like at all…

Zuko: Kiwi?

Aang: Meng? Onji? June? Song? Jin?

Zuko: Kiwi?

Me: No, no, no, no, no… wait!

Zuko: Kiwi?

Sokka: Boomerang Lady!

All: …

Me: No, I like Kiwi!

Katara: (just came from hitting Crazy senseless with water): Kiwi? Aww, that's so cute! Who said that? Aang?

Zuko: ME!!

Katara: LIEK ZOMG!!

Zuko: I KNOW!!

Me: Yay! So my name's Kiwi? Awesome.

All: KIWI!!

Ozai: Where?!_HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (_sniff) It's um… it's, it's funny…

Kiwi: 'k… ha, look! I already implied it in the chapter! BOO YA!

All: (except Ozai who is, once again, off in his own little corner): SQUEE! (does that retarded clap where everyone jumps up and smacks hands with their legs sticking up in the air)

Kiwi: All right! End of the chapter!

All: Awwwww…

Kiwi: I'm just kidding!

All: Yay!

Kiwi: No, no I'm not. Go away.

_Azula – Ohio Is For Lovers (Hawthorne Heights)_

_Iroh – Bigger Than Us (Hannah Montana) _

_Aang – A Little Less than 16 Candles, a Little More "Touch Me" (Fall Out Boy)_

_Toph – Miss Independent (Kelly Clarkson)_

_Ozai – Mickey Mouse Club (The Mouseketeers! BWAHAHAHAHAH!)_

_Ty Lee – Potential Break-Up Song (Aly & AJ)_

_Mai – Dani California (Red Hot Chili Peppers)_

_Katara – I Hate Myself for Losing You (Kelly Clarkson)_

_Zuko – Do You Like Waffles? (Guttermouth)_

Oh wait everyone! Sokka feels neglected that he didn't get to sing anything. So here he is singing… oh my…

Sokka: _Everyone loves Magical Trevor 'cause the tricks that he does are ever so clever, look at him now, disappearing a cow, where is the cow, hidden right now? Taking his bow, it's Magical Trevor! Everyone agrees that the trick is clever, look at him there with his leatherly, leartherly whip! It's made of magic, and with a little flip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cow is back, yeah, yeah, yeah, the cow is back, back back, back from his magical journey. What did you see? In the parallel dimension? He saw beans, lot'sa beans, lot'sa beans, lot'sa beans, oh beans, lot'sa beans, lot'sa beans, ooOOOH! Everyone loves Magical Trevor 'cause –_ (attacks Sokka and stuffs him in a pineapple can.)

_Can _it. Get it? CAN it? Get it? Get it? Get it? (grabs Azula and points her lightning at you)

I _saaaaid, _"Get it?"

All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ozai: You suck.


	2. Let's go SHOPPING!

Oh snap, there's more. You know you want it!

Ozai: Not really.

You _want _me to take that flower back?!

Ozai: _NO! NOT SIR FLOWER! _(Starts to mad-huggle some random pansy and runs off into the distance)

------

Let's invade everyone's privacy to see what people are doing in their rooms!

Kiwi: That's cruel.

Oh well. You can't fight with the author.

Kiwi: Yeah well – wait, aren't I the author too?

Um… so in Iroh and Azula's room…

Kiwi: Wait a sec!!

Ooh snap, a page turn. (Turns really big page and squishes Kiwi.) Sorry little naive me. o.O

------

Iroh: So… did you hear this new song by Hannah Montana?

Azula: Dear God, help me…

------

Sokka: Hey Crazy! Gimme back my gummie bears!

Ozai: NO! (Takes like 20 gummie bears and stuffs them in his mouth)

Sokka: Gasp! You _MONSTER!_

------

Ty Lee: C'mon, Mai! All you have to do is get on your hands like this –

Mai: Um, yeah… listen, I'm just gonna, you know, jump out the window…

------

Aang: Toph, if you could be any color of the rainbow, what would you be?

Toph: Aang, my dear, sweet, friend, would you mind coming here for something?

Aang: Yuppers?

Toph kicks him in the shin: STILL BLIND!!!

------

Zuko: Want a smoothie?

Katara: What?

------

Kiwi: So… what makes you think that you're good for this job? Mr. …Momo?

------

Wow… you all are idiots…

------

Sokka: Hey, I'm bored.

Katara: How could you possibly be bored? I never would have guessed. Are you REALLY bored? Or not?

Sokka: No… I mean yes, I mean no, I mean yes, I mean no, I mean yes, I mean no, I mean yes, I mean no, I mean yes, I mean no, I mean yes, I mean no, I mean –

Toph: SHUT UP!

Kiwi: Thanks.

Toph: Don't start with me Meanager.

Kiwi: Meanager? oOoOoOokay...

Aang: Oh yeah, Toph gives everyone nicknames. I'm Twinkle Toes, Katara is Sugar Queen, Sokka is Snoozles, Zuko's –

Zuko: Wait, she gave me a nickname?

Aang: – Angry Jerk.

Katara: No, didn't Sokka give him that?

Toph: Yeah, he did. I gave him Hot Head, remember?

Zuko: You… you… _ANGRY JERK!? _(Turns to light a fire under Sokka's chin)

Sokka: Ahem… um… yeah… about that… run…?

Toph, Aang, Katara: Run.

Sokka: HYAH!!! (Starts to run around the lobby like some crazed psycho… which he is…)

Kiwi: Hey, shouldn't we do something about this?

All: Nope.

------

Iroh: Miss Katara, I hear they have a pool somewhere around here.

Katara: Really? Kiwi!

Kiwi: Yah?

Katara: Do you have a pool?

Kiwi: Yup. We do.

Katara: …can I use it?

Kiwi: Yup. You can.

Katara: Like, right now?

Kiwi: Uh-huh.

Katara: Really?

Kiwi: Yeah. Really.

Katara: Cool.

Kiwi: Do you have a swim suit?

Katara: No… I was just gonna wear my clothes I use for waterbending…

Kiwi: No. That won't work. (Eyes Zuko) I'll go get you one, 'k?

Katara: Um… that's okay… I'll be fine.

Kiwi: No. You're getting one.

Katara: But –

Kiwi: Could lock _you _in a room with a very with a hyperactive Wiley and Ty Lee…

Katara: Wiley…? Ty Lee…?

Kiwi: Correct.

Katara: I hate you.

-------

All the girls get in Toph's room to talk about the pool.

Toph: So Kiwi's gonna get us all swim suits?

Katara: Yup. Kinda weird, but that's okay.

Ty Lee: Ooh, hope it'll be like the one in "The Beach."

Azula: Hmph. You mean the one with the blow-up breasts?

Toph: Ugh, don't need to hear it.

Mai: Hey, will you all be quiet? I'm trying to hear what Kiwi's saying to the guys…

Toph, Katara, Azula, Ty Lee: Stalker.

-------

Zuko: So… we're going to be going in the pool…

Kiwi: Yup.

Zuko: Wearing these…

Kiwi: Looks like it.

Zuko: And _everyone _will be there…

Kiwi: Just the Avatar group. Everyone else got a little creeped out at the thought of swimming with you guys.

Zuko: And my trunks have little flames on them…

Kiwi: Aw, I knew you'd love it!

Ozai: Um… Kiwi… I don't think that this is right…

Kiwi: Crazy…. that's _my _swim suit…

Ozai: Oh…

(A/N: Ewww… picture Ozai in a bikini…)

All the guys twitch.

-------

Katara: So… you want me to wear _that? _

Kiwi: Duh.

Katara: But it has pink pansies on it…

Kiwi: Oops, my bad. That's for Mai.

Mai: _What?!_

Kiwi: THIS one is yours. (Pulls up a really cute purple bikini with blue zig-zags on it)

Katara: Wow… I like it! (Grabs it to go put on in the bathroom)

Kiwi: And Toph, this one's yours… (Holds up a camo bikini) Azula… (Pitch black bikini with a skirt) Mai, you already got yours…

Mai: (point's finger at Azula) Can… can I have hers?

Azula: Over my dead body you can.

Kiwi: And finally, Ty Lee, we have – where'd she go?

Ty Lee: Hey guys! (Comes in wearing her swim suit from "The Beach.")

Azula: ZOMG, you actually got it?

Ty Lee: With a little help…

Wiley: Ty Lee, I'd so do _anything _for you. Ty Wee forever!

Kiwi: Ew, how'd you get in here? (Shoves him out the window)

Katara: So… how do I look?

Kiwi: Oooh, great. There's no way that Zu – (notes the glare from Mai) I mean, look! Here come the guys!

Toph: Crud.

------

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOh,

SNAP, we're going back in time like 10 minutes or something.

_TIME TRAVEL!!!!!! SQUEE!!!!!!!!_

Back in the dude's room:

Aang: So… my suit says "Taang 4 Eva'" on the back… what does that mean?

Kiwi: Nothing.

Aang: And Iroh…?

Kiwi: Don't worry: he said he'd rather serve tea to us than go in any pool. (Starts saying "Thank you," over and over again in head)

Sokka: Well I for one absolutely LOVE what you did to mine. Little steaks dancing in top hats and canes…? I LOVE YOU!

Kiwi: Right… Twit, you've still got some issues.

Ozai: What's wrong with it? I thought I did it okay…

Kiwi: Yeah, but sandals are supposed to go on your feet, not… _there…_

-------

Mai: Hi, Zuko!!

Zuko: Hello Mai. You look very… erm… nice…

Mai: (bats eyelashes so freakin' fast they're a blur)

Kiwi: (starts gagging due to overdose of Maiko) Hey Zuko? Seen Katara yet?

Zuko: No…

Kiwi: Katara, I – wait, where is she?

Toph: Said something about being first in the pool for some reason.

Kiwi: Aw…

Aang: Wow Toph! You look great! Do you like my swim suit?

Toph: Aang?

Aang: Dang. I did it again didn't I? Still don't hurt me…?

-------

Katara: Man, what's taking them so long? (Starts making imaginary Mai's with water and then slicing them with ice)

Kiwi: Okay, who wants to go in first and see the _beautiful _pool?

Aang: I wi –

Kiwi: Zuko, go in.

Zuko: But Aang just said –

Kiwi: NOW.

Zuko: Yeah, but I don't really want to –

Kiwi: (trades flip flops for heels)

Zuko: Um… (starts running for dear life)

Kiwi: Pssh. Idiot.

--------

Katara: Ooh, good, here comes someone. (gets REALLY BIG WAVE READY TO CRASH IT ON THE POOR PERSON WHO IS COMING IN THROUGH THAT DOOR RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT, AND THAT PERSON HAPPENS TO BE ZUKO, POOR HIM AND ALL HIS EMO-NESS N' STUFF)

Zuko: (is still running)

Katara: (is amazed at how he looks)

Zuko: (still running)

Katara: (makes a water whip)

Zuko: (starts to slow down)

Katara: (sends the water whip to his ankle, pulls him in)

_**SPLOOOOOOOOOSH! **_

Most people say splash. I say sploosh. _GOT IT?!_

Zuko: (resurfaces) I really don't like it when you – (stops and stares at Katara and all her Water Tribe glory. Starts foaming. Foamy would be proud)

Foamy: Way to go Zuko man!

Kiwi: Go away. (kicks Foamy back to Yoshi island)

Some random Avatar nerd that's not me: You mean Kyoshi.

Kiwi: No, I mean Yoshi.

Nerd: Kyoshi.

Kiwi: Yoshi.

Nerd: Kyoshi.

Kiwi: Yoshi

Nerd: Kyoshi.

Kiwi: Yoshi.

Nerd: Kyoshi.

Kiwi: Yoshi

Nerd: Kyoshi.

Kiwi: Yoshi.

Nerd: Kyoshi.

Kiwi: Yoshi

Nerd: Kyoshi.

Kiwi: Dude, it has the word "yoshi" in there, so now it's Yoshi Island. I mean, it's green isn't it?

Nerd: …touché.

Kiwi: Now… be gone!

_Awesome sound effect: _FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! _He gone!_

Kiwi: And now back to staring at Zutara…

Aang: They're gone.

Kiwi: _WHAT?!_

Toph: They left like 10 minutes ago.

Kiwi: Must… strangle… something… having… to… do… with… _meat_… Sokka!

Sokka: Gotta go.

Kiwi: GET BACK HERE!

Starts chasing Sokka

Sokka: What did the meat ever do to you?!

-------

Aang: C'mon Toph! Why won't you come in?

Toph: Does the prospect of "_blind_" mean anything to you?

Aang: Possibly.

-------

Sokka: So… anyone know where I can pick up some chicks around here?

Azula: I know!

Sokka: Really?! You do?!

Azula: Yup! …oh wait, did you want them _alive?_

------

Kiwi: So… who knows where Katara and Zuko went? I'm still ticked off at them.

Toph: They just ran out of the hotel. That's all I know.

Kiwi: _WHAT? _So they're out in the streets somewhere?

Aang: (still trying to get Toph to get in the dang pool.) Looks like it.

Kiwi: Okay people, pool times over.

Sokka: Why?

Kiwi: 'Cuz you're sis and Zuko are somewhere in the city and are no doubt getting into a lotta' trouble right about now.

Sokka: Why aren't you totally spazzing out right now?

Kiwi: Well, we have the entire day to find them. I just don't want Wiley to kidnap them or anything and use them as a ransom for Ty Lee.

Ty Lee: Oh that reminds me, they took your credit card.

Kiwi: …

Ty Lee: Kiwi? You okay?

Kiwi: …go find them…

Everyone starts running to get themselves in proper clothes before I totally slaughter them

Kiwi: And remember, you can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter!" (wink)

-------

**Like, 10 or something minutes later**

Kiwi: Right-o, so are we ready to go then?

Ty Lee: Yup, I think so.

Kiwi: Good. Then we need to make sure that we're all dressed properly for this, or else everyone will totally glomp me if they knew I had the Avatar crew hanging around with me.

Kiwi: T-shirts?

All: Check.

Kiwi: Jeans?

All: Check.

Kiwi: Hat for Aang?

All: Check.

Kiwi: Busted shoes for Toph?

All: Check.

Kiwi: Sokka's "manly" ponytail down?

All: Check.

Kiwi: Handcuffs for Azula?

All: Check.

Kiwi: And… a muzzle for Twit?

All: Check.

Ozai: sniffle

Kiwi: 'K, let's go!

Mai: But how are we supposed to get to them? We don't even know where they are.

Kiwi: No prob. Last night I stuck a tracking chip into each of your thick little heads.

All: You WHAT?!

Kiwi: Yeah, didn't I tell you…?

-------

Zuko: Oooh, Katara, look at this! (grabs a Katara doll from the Nick shop)

Katara: What?

Zuko: (sticks it in her face) Look! It's a little you!

Katara: SQUEEE! Oh and here's one of you! (sticks in his face)

Inugirl7: Gaspidoodle! (grabs Zuzu and Katara)

Kittykatluver14: What are you doing?

Inugirl7: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm making Zutara happen! (snuggles the Zuko and Katara together)

Jingle14: NOOO! Kataang forever!!!!

Inugirl7: Too bad, so sad. Looks like you'll just have to get a Katara and (gag) AANG doll to make fun of.

Sheen: He's… a… ACTION FIGURE!!!!

Seamus: Dude… why are you here?

Sheen: Cindy said that this was where Ultra Lord would be. GASP! She _LIED_ to me, didn't she?!

DAMMIT, QUIT BREAKING INTO MY STORY!!!

Jet: See, if _I _was there, I wouldn't be breaking in.

Shut up Jet.

-------

Kiwi: So… they're at –

Sokka: Where?

Kiwi: Erm… Build-a-Bear…

-------

Zuko: ZOMG! THEY HAVE A TURTLEDUCK!!

-------

Mai: (bangs head) Still worth it, still worth it…

Kiwi: Well, they're done there. Now they're just wandering around the mall.

Ty Lee: Oh yeah, Kiwi? How are we supposed to get there? We've been hanging around the park for two hours.

Kiwi: Well, Wiley said he would be here any minute.

Ty Lee: Wiley? You mean that guy who wants Ty Wee to happen?

Kiwi: The very same.

Ty Lee: What'd it take to make him drive us?

Kiwi: A date.

Ty Lee: With you?

Kiwi: Nope.

Ty Lee: …

Kiwi: You!

Ty Lee: Happy pills… effect… wearing off…

--------

Katara: Hey, can I pick the next store?

Zuko: Sure. Just as long as it's not…

Katara: (drags Zuko along) CLAIRE'S!! Oh and we are SO getting one of your ears pierced!

-------

Kiwi: Finally! What took you so long Wiley?

Wiley: Sorry, Austin kept nagging me about getting a date with Mai.

All: …say what?

Wiley: (shrug) He thinks she's cute.

Mai: oO

Wiley: To the mall!!

Kiwi: Wait, now they're leaving.

Aang: Where are they now?

Kiwi: Looks like… Safeway…

Toph: Safeway?

Kiwi: Hey, never estimate the powers of Safeway.

Wiley: To the Safeway!!

**20 or something minutes later **

Wiley: Okay, we're here.

Kiwi: 'Bout time too. Hey, where's Iroh?

Ozai: Mmmmm mmm, mmm MMM, mmmm!

Kiwi: Someone take the muzzle off Twit for me, will ya'?

Toph: Got it. (rips muzzle off)

Ozai: OUCHIE!!!

Kiwi: Yeah, yeah, what were you saying?

Ozai: Well, he was annoying the crap outta me, so I pushed him out the car. He kept talking about Hannah Montana… (shudder)

Kiwi: Well, that's TOTALLY unaccept – did you say Hannah Montana?

Ozai: (nods)

Kiwi: Oh, well then that's okay.

Sokka: Hey, aren't we supposed to be in there by now?

Kiwi: Yeah, I guess so… just lemme get a Starbucks…

Sokka: Credit card…

Kiwi: (finger up in the air) To Safeway!

--------

Aang: Hey look! There they are! …who are they talking to?

Toph: Cabbage man.

Azula: Ah, the Cabbage man. Good times, good times.

All: WTF?!

Zuko: So… cabbage + man equals …what?

Katara: No, I thought it was cabbage + cart equals Cabbage Man.

Zuko: You sure?

Kiwi: (stomps over) You two are in _big_ trouble when we get back home.

Zuko & Katara: Ooooh, snizz_AP!_

Kiwi: Credit card, please.

Zuko: Oh, yeah, here ya' go.

Kiwi: Zuko… these are the _Veggitales _DVD's… (A/N: Ha, imagine Zuko watching Veggitales) NOT a credit card.

Katara: Right, well, we used it to buy all this stuff: (holds up like a million bags)

Kiwi: …how much money did you spend?

Katara: Enough.

Zuko: Well, we heard that Christmas was coming up, so we bought everyone a present. Then we gave the card to that hobo over there. (points to Wiley in a cloak)

Kiwi: (slaps forehead) That's Wiley. _NOT _a hobo.

Wiley the not hobo: Ty Lee! Good news! I got enough money to have a super-duper date thingy! Let's go! (grabs Ty Lee and stuffs her into a sac) Bye!

Kiwi: Wait! Who's gonna give us a ride home?

Wiley: (shrug) I dunno. Just take the car and drop it off at my place later, k?

Kiwi: Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet…

--------

Kiwi: Okay, we're back. Zuko, Katara, go to your room. You're grounded until tomorrow.

Zuko & Katara: Awwwww…

Kiwi: Toph, Aang, go find Iroh and make sure he's alive.

Toph & Aang: Roger.

Ozai: No, it's _KIWI! _HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

All: …

Ozai: Damn it, I'm going to keep saying corny jokes until someone laughs at them.

Kiwi: Azula, go put your dad in that captive room, okay?

Azula: FINALLY, I get to use it. (drags Ozai to her room)

Kiwi: So that's leaves you and me, huh Mai? Let's see… what to do…

Mai: Totally break apart Zuko and Kata –

Kiwi: Right! Come help me hang up mistletoe for Christmas!

Mai: But that's in like another 20 days.

Kiwi: So?

Mai: Fine. But what's mistletoe?

Kiwi: Ah, mistletoe… it's when…

Narrator: WHAT are the presents from Katara and Zuko? WILL Aang and Toph ever find Iroh? WHAT will become of Ozai? WILL Mai find the true meaning of mistletoe? WILL I ever find my house key? (A/N: I'm locked out of my house right now xD waiting at friend's house for parents)

Iroh: Locked out your house _again? _

Shut up! Everyone's not supposed you're alive!

Iroh: But come on, everyone probably will know that you'd never kill off _ME. _

…

Iroh: …right?

…

Iroh: clairebear…?

…

Iroh: SHI –

Song: Read and Review!

I'm done.

Song: …poor Iroh…

What? It's not my fault he had to go and spoil everything.

Song: O.O


	3. Movies anyone?

Kiwi: Hey, I'm bored.

Wait! You can't start saying stuff yet!

Kiwi: Why not?

'Cuz I haven't said any intro thingy or anything yet.

Kiwi: Fine, say something.

No. Now I'm not gonna.

Kiwi: Then can I go on?

No. You may not.

Kiwi: Then say something.

No.

Kiwi: Yes.

No.

Kiwi: Yes!

No!

Kiwi: YES!

NO!

Kiwi: YES!

NO!

Strong Bad: GRUMBLE CAKES!

Go away. Like, now.

Strong Bad: Awwwww…

And take your The Cheat with you too.

Pompom: _bubbly, bubbly, bubble, bubbly blub!_

What did he just say?

Kiwi: I think he said that he doesn't own Avatar or Monty Python or Tsubasa or My Chemical Romance or Lemony Snicket. Or all this trademarked stuff. I think.

Hmm… good boy Pompom, have some chicken.

Pompom: _CHIRP! _(catches the chicken and bounces off into the distance)

--------

Kiwi: Hey, I'm bored. Did'ja guys find Iroh yet?

Toph: Nope. Dunno what happened to him: I thought I felt his vibrations, then… nothing.

Kiwi: Oh… weird…

Aang: Yeah. Weird.

Mai: Hey Kiwi, this stuff won't come off me.

Kiwi: Um… Mai… that's 'cause that's used to –

ATTENTION: JUST SO YOU ALL KNOW, THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORY AND IF YOU DON'T READ IT, IT WILL COME BACK TO BITE YOU LATER. YUP, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT.

Mai: Oh, really? So without this you couldn't –

OH, AND I FORGOT: ALSO, THIS IS POSSIBLY THE MOST CLICHÉ THINGS IN THIS ENTIRE STORY, BUT I GUESS THAT IS OKAY BECAUSE IN THE END IT'LL ALL TOTALLY MAKE SENSE, SO BE SURE YOU READ ALL OF! THAT'S RIGHT, EVER LAST KEYWORD! IF NOT YOU WILL DIE!

Kiwi: That is correct. The only thing you forgot is that –

WAIT, ONE MORE THING: MISSION IMPOSSIBLE IS BLARING IN MY POOR LITTLE EAR AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. MAKE IT STOP!!

(sob)

Mai: Wow. Guess I missed a lot more than I thought.

Kiwi: 'Tis okay. We all make mistakes. Yours just happen to be extremely pointy.

Mai: …right… so, what about the mistletoe? I still don't really get that.

Kiwi: Well, when a boy and a girl step under the mistletoe, they have to kiss.

Mai: Really? Sweet. Hey, what happens if a boy and a boy –

Kiwi: Don't ask.

--------

Katara: Okay, so Christmas is in about 2 days, and we still haven't wrapped anyone's present.

Zuko: Really? We've been stuck in here that long? Jeez, I thought we were supposed to get out like 20 days ago.

Katara: That reminds me… is that assassin still out there?

Zuko: Lemme check – (runs off to open the door where Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Man is)

Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Man: You. No. Go. Out. Or. _Else. _

_Le BOOM! hence the "Boom," part of his name_

Zuko: Op, no, he's still out there.

Katara: Dang it. By the way, you're on fire.

Zuko: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!!

(faints from the girly scream that took all the breath outta him)

(oh, and being on fire too I guess)

--------

Kiwi: (is currently glaring at nothing in the lobby)

Ty Lee: Hey, what 'cha lookin' at?

Kiwi: MistressJacky. She's wondering what happened to Sokka.

Ty Lee: So… why don't you just tell her?

Kiwi: Maybe 'cuz I don't feel like it.

Ty Lee: Then why are you mad at her?

Kiwi: 'Cuz she asked a question that I don't know.

Ty Lee: Oooh... you just can't do that can you.

Kiwi: No. (shakes head) It makes my writer-authority feel funky. My chi, if you will.

Ty Lee: _CHI! I MUST BLOCK!! _(attacks me and pokes me, causing my arm to go limp)

Kiwi: Aw man! Way to go Ty Lee! Now I can't set fire to Mai!

Ty Lee: Sorry… force of habit…

Kiwi: (pouts)

-------

Mai: I sense a disturbance… and it has to do with me…

-------

Sokka: Hey world! I'M NOT DEAD! (starts break dancing in the street while singing "I'm not dead" from Monty Python)

King Arthur: Hey, no fair! That's some old guy's line!

Cabbage Man: Someone say they need an old guy to hit on the head?

King Arthur: Ooh, great timing! Black Knight! Bite him!

Black Knight: _Finally! _(chomps Cabbage man's legs)

-------

Kiwi: Hey… I have feelings in my limbs!

Ty Lee: I thought I poked you in the arm.

Kiwi: Hey… I have feelings in my arm!

Wiley: Can I have Ty Lee again?

Kiwi: That depends. (ignores cries from Ty Lee) What do you have for me?

Wiley: Um… ooh, I know! I have this new anime I can give you!

Kiwi: What's it called?

Wiley: Tsubasa or something like that. I just got it 'cuz there's some awesome guy in it with a coolioso sword.

Kiwi: Lemme see. (snatches DVD from him and pops it in the TV) Oooh… pretty Fye…

Ozai: Gah! Do you think he's hotter than _me?! _

Kiwi: I thought you were still being tortured, and yes, I do. I mean, come _on, _he has BLUE eyes. LIGHT BLUE eyes. That makes any guy look HOT.

Ozai: Great, you just depressed me even more than ever. Have you no shame?

Kiwi: Hmm… (thinks about it)

Ozai: (looks hopeful)

Kiwi: No, not really.

Ozai: Crap.

Kiwi: (claps) Azula, why did you let him out? I mean, it's not even noon yet.

Azula: Sorry, but he lured me out with My Chemical Romance. Gerard is _hot. _

-------

Frank: Dude… I feel like there's some majorly freaky fan girl talking about you _right now. _

Gerard: Yeah, I feel like that too…

-------

Kiwi: No emo bands in my hotel. Period.

Ozai: But they're so _cool! _

All: …

Kiwi: Sure you can't stick him in that lion pit I just installed outside?

Toph: Heck, I'll do it! C'mere!

Ozai: (cowers in the corner) No! Ozai is very scared! (shakes)

Toph: Pff. Sissy. (earthbends his little heinie to the lion pit)

Aang: (runs over to see what happened) Hey, Toph, look! There's some guy in there!

Toph: Really? Hang on, lemme see who it is… (moves her feet to feel who it is)Yo! Lemony! Get out of there!

Lemony Snicket: NEVER! These are my lions. And I do not believe I gave you the permission to use this.

Kiwi: But Madame Lulu said it was okay! I mean, she WAS the one you wrote could say could have it, right?

Snicket: No, that was Olaf. But since there's this guy in here, I guess its okay.

Ozai: I WANNA GO HOME!!

Katara: (yells from the top of the building) Your home is flames right now!

Ozai: Mad waterbender say _what? _

Katara: Yuppers, it's true. Just check out Day of Black Sun.

Ozai: (pulls up TV from beneath the ground and turns to Nick) hey, you liar! You guys didn't ruin anything! Zuko was just being a dick and burned my new curtains…

Kiwi: Cover your ears. Now.

Ozai: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!! YOU SUCK!!! THOSE THINGS COST ME LIKE A MILLION GOLD PIECES AND NOW THEY'RE JUST SMOLDERING!!!

Zuko: (joins Katara in the conversation) What 'cha gonna now? I'm way up here and you're _all _the way down there.

Ozai: I'm… I'm… I'm… _I'm gonna tell your MOTHER! _

Zuko: Not if I tell her first! (jumps out the window)

Kiwi: ZUKO! BAD BOY! You're not supposed to leave yet! Katara, bend him back up there would 'ya?

Katara: Gladly. (bends Zuzu back with the ravine water)

Zuko: Eeeeeeww, Kataaaaaara! Why'd you have to use this yucky water?

Katara: Fine then. (bends water from the bathtub and drops it on him) Better?

Zuko: (sniffs) I guess…

Katara: Good. (glomps him)

Aang: But, but, but, Katara was my earthly attachment 'n stuff…

Toph: (is brooding 'cuz Aang's being an idiot and babbling on about Katara) Stupid waterbender… well then, guess it's time to use that old crappy line that always works in the movies!

Aang: Pretty Katara…

Toph: Aang? (pokes him)

Aang: Yah?

Toph: _Kiss me, you FOOL! _(tackles him)

Sokka: w00t for random girls tackling dudes!

Kiwi: Random, yes. Happy, yes. Creepy beyond everything, yes. Hey, where's Yue?

Ty Lee: Yue?

Kiwi: Yeah, she's the chic I currently ship for. Yukka anyway.

Ty Lee: What about Ty Lokka? (flutters eye lashes meaningfully)

Kiwi: Yeah… no.

Yue: SOKKA!

Sokka: YUE!

Suki: SOKKA!

Sokka: SUKI!

Yue: Suki?!

Suki: Yue?!

Bonkers: BOB CAT!

Ty Lee: Suki? Yue?!?! I thought _I _was your special snukums!

Wiley: (comes in wearing armor) Naw baby, I'm the one for you!

Ty Lee: MAI! GET YOUR SORRY LITTLE RUMP OUT HERE AND HIT HIM!

Mai: Woah… do I get to say something? Sweet. Hey, Wiley, c'mere, I wanna show you something cool.

Wiley: Ooh, fun time! (gallops over) Yah?

Mai: (stuffs him in a piñata and ships him off to Italy)

Ty Lee: Squee! Thanks! BFFEIACTWIWA!

Poppy: BFFEINCTWIWA?

Ty Lee: **B**est **F**riends **F**orever **E**xcept **I**n **A**ugust '**C**uz **T**hat's **W**hen **I**'m **W**ith **A**zula!

Kiwi: Now when you say _"with…" _

Sokka: Wait a sec, this plot has nothing to do with the chapter name. I mean, _Movies anyone? _Come on. We don't even have a TV anywhere.

Ozai: (being careful to not get mauled) Not true!

Sokka: Still, there's nothing really going on right now. And where's Iroh? Shouldn't he be back by now?

Kiwi: Oh, he'll be back._ Soon… _(grabs flashlight and turns the lights out while laughing manically) MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Aang: (whispers) Psst… Toph… how can she turn off the lights when we're outside?

Kiwi: Who spoke while Kiwi was talking?

Mai: (points accusingly to Aang) It was _him! _He uttered something!

Aang: I – I'm sorry I uttered.

Jin: Now it is time for major action!

Smellerbee: Yes, let us get together all the characters from the other episodes!

Pakku: Yes, let us!

Swampbender guy: Now… let… us… _fight the Fire Lord! _

Ozai: EEP! (squeals and runs around in the pit while people throw stuffed Appa's at him)

Aunt Wu: Take THAT!

Ozai: Oh SNAP, you just made me mad. Now it's time for some lighting! HA!

Aang: Crap

Ozai: **And now I shall destroy each and every one of you right no – **

(insert some kinda breathtaking fight here 'cuz I'm too lazy to right anything)

So… it's like 5 or something in the morning and I was supposed to be asleep like 7 hours ago, so I'ma gonna leave. Now. See ya'!

Iroh: Wait, WHAT? What about me? I don't come back at all? That's cheap!

Sorry babe, that's showbiz.

Iroh: Dear gods I need tea…

Momo: Read and review otherwise the Tickle Me Elmo on fire shall come into your house tonight and hug you.

Zuko: NOO! NOT TICKLE ME ELMO! (shudders) Bad memories…

Oh that reminds me... guess Christmas is in like 2 days, right?

Santa's Elf: Of course!

Okey-dokey then, come on guys! We have to sing for them!

Mai: Do we have to?

Yes. Or else no more knifes for a week.

Mai: (hugs knifes) Mine...

Then sing! Sing my little chipmunks!

All: Oh, Rudolph the parallelogram had two sets of parall sides! And if you ever saw him, can you guess what you would find? All of the other trapazoids...

NO! NOT THAT! No math Rudolph. Gosh. What the hell is wrong with you?

Sweepy: Oh, if only you knew...

o.O

Sweepy: What?

Hey, I just realized something. It's been a while and it's already the New Year.

Aang: Sooo...?

Well, no one's kissed under the mistletoe yet.

Mai: Really? (slyly smiles) Well that's a shame.

I KNOW! That's just not the American way.

Mai: (whispers to Ty Lee) Psst... get Zuko under the mistletoe and I'll track down Wiley, 'kay?

Ty Lee: Got it.

...and that's how Santa got his legs through the chimeny. Now then, his thighs were a bit trickier...

Ty Lee: Hey Zuko!

Zuko: Yah?

Ty Lee: Um... _PANDA BEAR!_

Zuko: PANDA? WHERE?!

Ty Lee: THERE! UNDER THE MISTLETOE!

Zuko: I WANT IT! (runs to the mistletoe)

Mai: There we go... Hey Zuko! (walks forward)

Kiwi: NOOOOOOOOOO! KATARA! SAVE THE ZUTARIANS! SAVE US!!!

Katara: Um... okay. (walks under mistletoe before Mai)

Kiwi: Good girl.

Mai: NUUUU! I WAS SO CLOSE!

Zuko: ...now what?

Dude... ya'll have to KISS!

Katara: GOT IT! (glomps Zuko again, totally starts making out)

Riiiiiiiiiight... anyway... ready?

All (except for Katara and Zuko who are rolling under the table, still making out): READY!

1... 2... 3!

All: MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE AVATAR GROUP!

Ozai: AND HUGGLES FOR EVERYONE! (tries to hug Azula)

Azula: (whips out machine gun)

Ozai: Crud

Azula: (grins wickedly) Bye daddy!

Sparky Sparky Boom Man: AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR WITH LOT'SA ZUTARA!

Finally! Someone who understands the meaning of the New Year!


	4. Those Darn Caps

Chapter 4

Kiwi: (is huddling in the corner of the lobby, looking out the window, dressed in all black)

Katara: Hey Kiwi! What 'cha doin'?

Kiwi: (whisper) SHHHH! I don't want Combustion Man to find me!

Aang: But didn't Zuko totally kick his butt back at the Western Air Temple?

Kiwi: Yeah… but somehow he found my fanfiction account and sent me an email… in CAPS.

Ty Lee: Caps? Ooh that's bad. Very, very, VERY BAD.

Kiwi: (spazzes out) CAPS! CAPS! GET THE CAPS OUT OF HERE! (runs)

Zuko: But she was talking in caps…

Kiwi: (off in the distance) NOOOO! I TALKED IN CAPS! THAT'S NOT GOOD!!!

Katara: (smacks Zuko) Nice going genius. Okay, who wants to get the crazy Kiwi from committing suicide?

All: …

Toph: I volunteer – OZAI

Ozai: YEAH BOY! SHE SAID MY NAME! (happy dances)

Aang: Yeah, great job. Now you get to mess around with a very scary Kiwi right now.

Ozai: …can I have the lions back?

Kiwi: WAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M STILL TALKING IN CAPS! AUTHOR! TURN THE DANG CAPS LOCK OFF! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA! NEVER!

Kiwi: EEP! SHE TALKED IN CAPS TOO! WHEN AUTHOR TALKS IN CAPS IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

…Really?

Kiwi: EITHER THAT OR THE END OF MAIKO!

Eh, I can live with that.

---------

Sokka: Guys… where's Kiwi?

Aang: Um… after running around in endless circles she hit a wall and got knocked unconscious

Sokka: Pfft. So? I've had that happen to me LOTS of times!

Azula: Yeah, I can see that

Sokka: (sniffle) Kiiiiii-wiiiiiiiiiii! She's being mean to me!

Sorry kiddo. Kiwi's currently lying outside right next to that pick-up truck from Taylor Swift's song.

Azula: You mean Picture To Burn?! I freakin' LOVE that song!

All: …

Azula: (cough) I mean… um… it's a good… torture… song…?

All: Ahhhhhh…

Kiwi: Gurgle…

Aang: Hey guys look! She's getting up! Either that or she's drinking water… I mean seriously Author… _"gurgle?!" _

HEY! I HAPPEN TO LIKE THAT WORD!

Kiwi: (gets up) EEEEP! MORE CAPS! (faints)

Mai: Ch. Nice goin' Author.

Don't you talk to me. You don't deserve the awesome powers of me.

Ty Lee: Aaaaaaand…?

Aaaand you're the reason Zuko looked like a complete idiot while back at the Fire Nation. I mean, come ON. Couldn't you just suck on each face's a bit longer?

Mai: Ooh, I cou –

Zuko: (kicks her in the shin)

---------

Toph: Peeps! Kiwi's finally getting up! Get over here!

M A D S T A M P E D E

Ozai: (pokes me) Is it… alive?

Ursa: What do YOU think? Jeez, why did I even marry you?

Zuko: Mom… mom… mommy? Is that you?

Ursa: SHOOT, not supposed to be here. Bye sweetie! See you in the next few episodes! (poofs)

Zuko: MOMMY LEFT ME AGAIN! (sobs)

Sokka: Katara, you've got one messed up roomie

Katara: Well at least I don't have some fat hobo in mine!

Ozai: Actually it's m –

Katara: I know, that's what I said.

Ozai: KIWI! THAT LADY WASN'T VERY NICE TO ME!

Kiwi: (gets up) Katara, did you torment my victim without my permission?

Katara: (nods)

Kiwi: Just for that you're going to the poke.

Zuko: POKER?!

Kiwi: HOLY FRIGGIN' CRAP! MORE CAPS! (falls off the Empire State Building)

Azula: Way to go 'bro!

Zuko: I'm still mad at you.

Azula: What? Why?!

Zuko: Hmm… lemme think… you're a psychotic _bitch _who burned my Webkinz!

Toph: (giggle snort) _Webkinz? _

Zuko: Oh yeah totally! It's a raccoon named Ringo Likes Tea.

Weird Al's ghost: TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEA?!

Aang: Weird Al? Now my life is complete.

Appa: (groan)

Toph: But why are you a ghost?

Weird Al's ghost: Oh that. Well Author just finished reading Julius Caesar and apparently some crazy old guy's ghost comes back to haunt some dude named Bob.

It's… _Brutus. _Gosh. It's an awesome word and you can't even remember it?

Zuko: You know what word I like?

Ty Lee: Maiko?

Zuko: EW, no that's a nasty word. I like "pickle!"

All: o.O

Kiwi: I'M ALIVE!

Aang: And you're talking in cap –

Kiwi: _Don't _say it. (takes flame thrower)

Aang: Point taken.

Kiwi: Well, seeing as we're all here –

Azula: Iroh's not –

Kiwi: Yes he is! (snaps finger and magic Iroh appears with Pepsi in hand)

Iroh: Hmm… Pepsi… yummy…

Sokka: What about your tea addiction?

(Kelly Clarkson comes in to sing Addiction): Ooh, it's like you're a drug…

Toph: KELLY CLARKSON!

(Kelly Clarkson fans stampede in): KELLY!

ZOMG, WE LOVE YOU!

NO, I LOVE YOU!

NO, I DO!

ME!

ME!

ME!

Iroh: ME!

Hannah Montana: Iroh? You're _ditching _me? For _her? _

Iroh: Maaaybe…

Hannah: That's it. We're over.

_Why_ do you think Hannah's messed up?

**COMMERCIAL BREAK! **

OMIGOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!

YOU BAST –

**COMMERCIAL BREAK IS DONE!**

All: (watch in amusement as Kelly and Hannah cat-fight)

Ozai: Dude… you've one hot chic fighting over you and one seriously screwed one…

Iroh: Pfff, and you thought I was a failure.

Kiwi: Well, because you are one.

Jet: I don't think that true!

Jet… who many times have I told you to stay out of my story?

Jet: Um… I think… (counts on fingers) 13,032,948,379,397,593,0036!

…you have a _lot _of fingers…

---------

Kiwi: You guys!

All: What?

Kiwi: Ya' know how Combustion Man emailed me?

Ty Lee: Yah?

Kiwi: Well it was on _AshBender's _account!

Mai: And…?

Kiwi: So that must mean that Combustion Man has AshBender!

Mai: And…?

Kiwi: Who knows what Sparky Sparky Boom Man is doing to him right now!

Blue Spirit: That means we have to go save him!

Painted Lady: In awesome disguises!

Katara, Zuko, get out of those.

Katara & Zuko: Whyyyyyyyyy?

'Cause Author said so. And all of the Painted Blue shippers will totally come and attack me.

Toph: And that's bad… why?

I dunno. I just read a totally depressing Painted Blue story called Mask and Veil.

Iroh: But that's not a sad story. My nephew finally stops being a wuss and kisses Katara.

Yeah, I guess so. I'm just mad at _Aang._ (glares)

Aang: Hey soooooorry! The Author wanted me to get rid of those two snuffing on each other.

Katara: Wait that was _you? _

Aang: Duh. Why else would a random blast of air head _directly toward your clearing? _I mean it doesn't really take a mastermind to figure that out.

Katara: (twitches)

Sokka: Zuko Katara…

Toph: EQUALS ZUTARA!

_Stop using caps. Instead use italics. _

Toph: …why?

_OTHERWISE KIWI FREAKS OUT! _

Kiwi: NOOO! MORE CAPS! AND ITALICS THIS TIME?!

Ozai: (huddles in corner to hide from the wrath of Kiwi)

Kiwi: But it's cool 'cause I got over that stage like 2 seconds ago. So it's all good.

Mai: Riiiiiight… so what are we doing now?

Kiwi: (grins diabolically)

Ozai: NO! _No words with more than 2 syllables! _

Azula: But you just said something with 3 syllables.

Ozai: …SHOOT!

Kiwi: Okay. (grins evil-like) Better?

Ozai: I guess…

Kiwi: Good. Now back to lookin' like the devil. Oh-ho-_ho! _

7 dwarves: Ho-ho-ho! It's off to work we go!

Ty Lee: Oh my flippin' gosh! You guys are so cute! I want you! (steals dwarves)

Aang: (shoots dwarves away)

Kiwi: Muchas gracious.

Sokka: Spanish…

_Espanola. _

Sokka: Freaks.

Boomerang nerd.

Sokka: Jerk.

Zutara-hater.

Sokka: Spaz.

Obsessed-with-meat-person

Sokka: Stalker

…?

Sokka: GASP! Take that back!

But I didn't… forget it. Kiwi, continue.

Kiwi: Thank you. Now then… _AshBender… you better run. 'Cause we're coming to your house to attack Combustion Man… right… NOW! _

Silence…

Kiwi: Okay _fine _then. _NEXT _chapter we're going to you're house. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Zuko: (whispers to AshBender) you may wanna get outta the country right now…

Kiwi: Zuko, no talking to our next prey.


	5. We have come TO SAVE YOU!

Chapter 5

Kiwi: (rolls in with James Bond music playing wearing a camo tank top and cargo paints) Psst… guys… you ready?

Sokka: (playing Go Fish with Zuko) Ready for what?

Kiwi: Um, hello! What we've been planning for like the past two weeks!

Ozai: Ooooh! Ooooh! I know this! Pick me! Pick me!

Kiwi: …Aang?

Aang: Uh… we're gonna go save… AshBender…?

Kiwi: Good job. You get strawberry shortcake.

Aang: S W E E T . (glomps cake)

Kiwi: But first we need some recruits. That Combustion Man is a nasty fellow.

Toph: So… that means we're gonna go abduct random people who review for you, right?

Kiwi: Of course! I mean who else would I use? Shaggy?

Shaggy: Like totally!

Kiwi: …want a Scooby Snack? You can have it if you leave!

Shaggy: OH! MINE! I WANT IT!

Kiwi: (throws it up)

Shaggy: Nummy!

Kiwi: Now… leave.

Shaggy: 'KAY! (rides away in the Mystery Machine)

Kiwi: Now then, where were we?

Azula: We were thinking about –

Kiwi: Ah yes, I remember. Now then… EXTRA HELP IS NEEDED! And to be able to get that special help, I need each of you to get someone for me. Can. You. Understand. Me.?

Zuko: Why. Are. You. Talking. Like. That.?

Kiwi: Because. I'm. Afraid. Your. Small. Minds. May. Not. Be. Able. To. Comprehend. What. I'm. Saying. Got. It.?

Katara: …no…

Kiwi: Okay then, that's good. Now, Toph!

Toph: Here!

Kiwi: Okay, I need you to go get cloudsdreams for me, 'kay?

Toph: Got it. (runs off to find you cloudsdreams)

Kiwi: Azula!

Azula: What.

Kiwi: You're getting AvatarAiris.

Azula: … (eye twitch)… Avatar… must… catch… (gets some glow sticks)

Kiwi: Mai! Ty Lee!

Mai & Ty Le –

Hang on. Lemme change something.

Ty Lee & Mai: Yeah? Wait, why'd you switch us? Do you not care about us? Why are we both still talking at once? ARE WE MIND READERS? WE'RE FREAKIN' MIND READERS! I'VE NEVER MET ONE BEFORE! THIS IS SO COOL!!!

Dudes… shut up. You're not mind readers.

Ty Lee: Awww…

But Mai's an Eraser.

Mai: Must… have… bird… (turns into dog and flies away)

Ty Lee: Wait! I wanna come too! Mai! Come back! (flips away)

Kiwi: Um… well then, Katara?

Katara: Yappers?

Kiwi: Can you go get The WolfCat is Back?

Katara: Okay. I'll be right back! (gets a big wave and rides on it)

Kiwi: Iroh?

Hannah: (comes back with shredded clothes) Still fighting.

Kiwi: Ah. Got it. Not Iroh. Well then… Zuko!

Zuko: What? You just interrupted from my TV show.

Kiwi: Too bad. What, wait was it?

Zuko: Cash Cab.

Kiwi: Sweet. Hey, did you see that fat guy who lost as soon as he got on?

Zuko: OH YEAH. That guy with the mustache?

Kiwi: Totally. Anyway, you're getting zutara-is-tru-love. Think you can handle that?

Zuko: (salutes) I can SO do this. But wait, what's zutara…?

Kiwi: IIIIIII'll tell you when you're older.

Zuko: Um… okay. zutara! I'ma come get you now! Even though your name sounds like a dying walrus!

Kiwi: _Zuko! _(slaps him)

Zuko: Oww… sorry… (leaves on boat)

Kiwi: Excellent. Now then… only one left. MistressJacky. Crazy!

Ozai: Yes, my Lady? OOOH! Do I get to go pick up MistressJacky?!

Kiwi: Actually, I want you to bake a cake for me. I don't trust you with her. Seriously.

Ozai: But then who's getting her?

Kiwi: Me, of course! Who else would it be?

Ozai: Well there's Sokka…

Kiwi: Shhhh… he's in a better place.

Ozai: HE _DIED?! _

Kiwi: What? No. He's at Chuck-E-Cheese's.

(At Cloudsdreams house)

Toph: (knocks on door) Yo! Cloudsdreams! You here?

Cloudsdreams: (opens door) Hey. What's up?

Toph: Oh ya' know… nothing much. Kiwi's gone crazy (again) and is getting together some of her reviewers to save some dude named AshBender. The usual. You?

Cloudsdreams: Well, nothing much's been going on. I mean, my computer has been acting wonky around me and stuff, but other than that… nothing.

Toph: Oh cool. Hey can I come in?

Cloudsdreams: Yah sure, no prob.

Toph: Cool place.

Cloudsdreams: Heh, thanks. So… want something to drink?

Toph: Just water, thanks.

Cloudsdreams: 'Kay. (gets Toph water)

Toph: So… you're what, French?

Cloudsdreams: Wee. (FYI, I really have no clue what French people are like… sorry Cloudsdreams… but you're in here! Which in retch respect really can't be all that good… XD)

Toph: Awesome. So, you wanna come help us save AshBender?

Cloudsdreams: Eh, what they hey, why not. I've got nothing better to do.

Toph: Sweet.

(at AvatarAiris' house)

Azula: WOMAN! PUT THE PEPPER SPRAY DOWN!

AvatarAiris: NEVER! YOU CRAZY PERSON! HOW DARE YOU COME DOWN TO CANADA UNINVITED, EH!

Azula: NO!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!

(at The WolfCat is Back's house)

Katara: Oooh… button… (pushes doorbell)

The WolfCat is Back: 'Ello?

Katara: Hey Wolfie! Mind if I call you that?

The WolfCat is Back: No problem. What can I do for you Katara?

Katara: Well… Kiwi's going on a huge rescue mission for AshBender and she wanted to know if you wanted to come. Can you?

The WolfCat is Back: Mmmm… hang on, let me see something real quick.

Katara: Okey-dokey.

40 MINUTES LATER

The WolfCat is Back: Okay, I'm done, and yeah, I can go.

Katara: What'd ya' have to do?

The WolfCat is Back: Umm… hug a killer whale.

(at zutara-is-tru-love's house)

Zuko: zutaraaaaaaaaaa! Anyone home?

zutara-is-tru-love: Oh… my… god… ZUKO!! (takes out pillow case and rope)

Zuko: Wait… foaming 13-year old plus rope plus pillow case… EQUALS PURPLE?!

zutara-is-tru-love: Close, but no cigar.

Zuko: Shoot.

zutara-is-tru-love: (tackles Zuko and stuffs him in the pillow case) And now he's mine… all MINE! (foams)

-----

Foamy: Someone is calling me… and they have rope…

(at MistressJacky's house)

Kiwi: 'Ellooooo? MistressJacky? Wanna come and help me attack Combustion Man?

MistressJacky: Oh. It's you.

Kiwi: And what's _that_ supposed to mean?

MistressJacky: Er… nothing. What some Mexican food?

Kiwi: Oooh… Mexico… (glomps taco)

(at my hotel)

Ozai: Hey… I just realized something… I'M ALONE AT THE HOTEL! IT'S MINE! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! I AM NOW THE ULTIMATE RULER OF EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS BUILID –

Kiwi: 'Sup Crazy. Glad to see you didn't burn down anything.

Ozai: Yo dawg… that ain't cool…

Kiwi: OH! I know what to do to make it cool! Katara!

Katara: Yes, my ultimate ruler of every single person in this building?

Kiwi: Freeze Crazy for me, will 'ya?

Katara: What if I already did?

Kiwi: Then you get whipped cream.

Katara: KIWI! DO YOU KNOW HOW TO CRUEL IT IS TO WHIP CREAM?

Kiwi: …not really.

Katara: Really? Well I guess its okay then. (stuffs whipped cream into mouth)

Zuko: OoOoOoOoh… I want some! (steals Katara's whipped cream)

Katara: ZUKO! MY CREAM! (chases him to Red Robin's)

AvatarAiris: Kiwi… I almost feel sorry for you.

Kiwi: And you almost should.

zutara-is-true-love: (just figured out Zuko escaped)

Ty Lee: Hey, Mai just got back from killing some bird-chick named Max. Is that bad?

Fang: Dude… you just _ate _my _girlfriend! _

Kiwi: I'll take that as a yes. Look Fang! It's Ares!

Fang: _ARES?! _(flies away)

The WolfCat is Back: Ummm… should we tell him that was an airplane?

All: …nah.

Kiwi: Hey, where's Azula?

AvatarAiris: I think she's still trying to get the pepper spray out of her eyes.

Kiwi: Aw man… and I _missed _it?

Azula: (comes in tripping) Ugh… what'd I miss?

AvatarAiris: I could do it again!

Kiwi: Please do.

Azula: HOLY FRIGGIN' CRAP, NOT AGAIN!! (runs to M.A.)

Kiwi: Hey! Outta my school!

Azula: AAAAAAAH! WHY THE HECK IS THERE A TARANTULA IN HERE?!

Kiwi: Oh good, you found Mr. Coyer's room. Could you give him my homework? I forgot to finish it yesterday.

_Bibidee bibidee bibidee bibidee BEEP!_

Jack: Nobody move, I dropped my brain!

Kiwi: Jack… get your brain and leave. That was just my cell.

Jack: Ohhhhhh… that makes sense. (gets peanut and brain) BYEEE! (flies away on Bixi)

Kiwi: HEY! It's five bucks to rent out Bixi!

Toph: Bixi…?

Kiwi: My magical dragon from the land of Zutara.

Aang: Zutara… that sounds like… Katara and… Zu - ?!

Kiwi: TOPH! KISS HIM!

Toph: OKAY! (tackles Aang)

Sokka: NOO! NOT MORE GLOMPS!

Kiwi: Hey, you're back. Did'ya get me my pizza?

Sokka: I _did, _but then it all just turned to grease and dripped out the bag.

Kiwi: Ew, no, not from Chuck-E-Cheese. That place's gross. I mean from Joe's.

Sokka: Umm… no.

Kiwi: (eye twitch)

Sokka: Kiwi…?

Kiwi: (leg twitch)

Sokka: …Kiwi?

Kiwi: (Yukka twitch)

Sokka: KIWI?!

Kiwi: YUE! ATTACK!

All: (watch in amusement as the moon falls on Sokka)

-------

Aang: (wipes off lipstick) Hey Kiwi, what'd that noise have to do with your cell?

Kiwi: Oh right, I just got a text. Lemme check it. (reads out loud)

_Kiwi, you idiot.  
__I've been waiting in my closet with my trash can lid for at least 4 weeks.  
__And you called me a girl.  
__That hurts.  
__What kind of savior ARE you?  
__The kind that ignores people for a long time?  
__That's not good for the press.  
__You know what?  
__I'm gonna go tell everyone that you're not a good person to save others.  
__Did you even get that cat out of the tree?  
I know I saw one running through the streets on fire.  
__Anyway… COME AND GET ME! _

_AshBender_

Kiwi: Gah, I AM an idiot!

Toph: Yeah, seriously, you are. I mean, who ignores someone for 4 weeks and calls them a girl?

Kiwi: No, I mean I thought Jessica could keep the cat on fire a secret.

All: O.o

Kiwi: But we really should go get AshBender. Before he comes out and like, sends out some rabid Kataang shippers. Again.

Hey, do you still have those scars?

Kiwi: Here, lemme check…

All: OH GOD NO! PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!

Kiwi: Fine. But you asked.

--------

Kiwi: Attention all those who are going on this daring rescue for AshBender! We need a meeting right now!

The WolfCat is Back: What are we doing?

AvatarAiris: Ooh… what's that black stuff?

Kiwi: Army composition stuff. Just can't go on a rescue mission without it, now can you?

MistressJacky: Well that IS true…

Sokka: (comes in with a limp) Kiwiiii! Did you take my makeup again?

zutara-is-tru-love: Ah-HA! You DID say it was makeup!

Austin: PEOPLE! FOCUS! This is exactly how we got in trouble for the Julius Caesar skit!

Austin, shut up. You didn't even do anything. And you took Elora's fake swords without asking. AND you got detention. So HA!

Seamus: Hey, but you ratted us out! You should'a gotten detention too!

No, see, I'm a girl. You can't give a cute little teenage girl detention. That's not how it works.

Grant: Haha, she covered for me. I didn't get detention! NANANANANANANA!

Wiley: Go away Grant.

Ty Lee: OMG! WILEY! RUN AWAAAAAY!

Wiley: Ya' know, for once I'm not in the mood for stealing you. Maybe it has to do with KIWI sticking things on my duct tape tie!

Kiwi: Heh… that was one fun concert.

DING!

Kiwi: Wait a sec, new text.

_Jeez you people get distracted a lot.  
__I'm still here.  
__And I think I hear exploding outside the door.  
__Don't you care about me?  
__KIWI DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME!!  
__(sobs)_

_AshBender_

Sokka: Way to go. You made a guy cry. AGAIN.

Katara: (comes back riding piggy-back on Zuko) Again?

Sokka: Yea, at a football game someone was making fun of her shoes so she kicked him in the –

Kiwi: (puts hand over his mouth) Ahhhhh, that's a story for another day.

Cloudsdreams: So… we almost ready?

Kiwi: Yeah, pretty much. Lemme get some more **makeup **on.

Sokka: IT'S **NOT** FUNNY!

Mai: You're right… it's **hilarious! **

Hey guys? Why are we using **bold? **We don't want Kiwi to freak out again now do we...?

Kiwi: **Bold… why are **y**o**u so **c**rue**l to me**?

AZULA! DID YOU BREAK THE BOLD BUTTON AGAIN?

Azula: EEP! NO! NOT MORE PEPPER SPRAY! (runs head-first to AshBender's house)

Kiwi: Hey cool. That means we don't have to waste anymore time. Wait, new text…

_No, knowing you you'll use up another 6 or so pages 'till you get to me.  
__Let's see if I'm right.  
__And you know I'm right.  
__SMILE!! _

_Do you know who I am? _

Such evil little smiles… 'ZULA! GET BACK HERE!

Azula: (shudder) Y-y-yeah?

Carry everyone to AshBender's house for me.

Azula: And why would I do THAT?

Because I own what everyone does in here. Do you want that creepy swamp guy who never wears a shirt to have a crush on you?

Azula: (extra shudder)

All: (jump on Azula)

Good. Now… _MUSH! _

Azula: (runs like heck to AshBender's house)

My job is so much fun! (skips along)

(at AshBender's house)

Kiwi: ASHBENDER! WE HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU!

Combustion Man: You. Finally. Here?

Kiwi: Yes… and now everyone… ATTACK!

All: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH…!

Zuko: Hey, I'll give you that person right there if you let AshBender go. (points to some random old lady)

Combustion Man: …deal. (shakes hands with Zuko)

Katara: Heeeey, wait, that's my Gran Gran!

--------

Kiwi: Okay everyone, thanks for helping me out. We saved AshBender and that cat's not on fire anymore.

Cat: You're mean.

Kiwi: BLEH. (sticks out tongue) And AshBender… I WIN! IT ONLY TOOK LIKE ANOTHER PAGE TO GET YOU! SO THERE!

Ty Lee: So… can we go home now?

Kiwi: Yah, let's head back. I think Pete's cookin' tonight.

Sokka: Yum…

Kiwi: AshBender, Combustion Man's gone. You can come out whenever you want to. Bye!

All: (leave to go back to Avatar Hotel)

AshBender: …DANG IT, THE DOORKNOB'S STUCK!


End file.
